Most wanted in Hyrule
by Chaosmaiden07
Summary: Differnt people in hyrule placing bounties on other people. First up is Link.
1. Chapter 2, Gannon

**Gannon is up now,**

Gannon most wanted list

Darunia-sage of fire- took my hammer. 500 rupees

Epona- was my birthday present to Nabooru 600 rupees

Great duku sprout- he just needs to die- some one please put him out of his misery- 200 rupees

Zelda-princess of destiny- 400 rupees

Sheik-espionage for the enemy- 1000 rupees

Impa- messing up my plan to send Zelda to an exchange school. Honestly the girl needs to be taught how to defend herself.

King Zora- sorry excuse to be king. 100 rupees

Navi- she is a nuance- hasn't even sent Link into insanity yet- 300 rupees

Nabooru- sage of sprit- old girlfriend- alive, or you die- 1000ruppies

That owl- 10,000 rupees dead or alive

Link- horse stealer- pet killer- hero of time- wedgy boy- is it really a crime to be tone deaf?

Half of hyrule

**So any requests on any other people?**


	2. Chapter 3 Navi

**I do not own zelda**

Navi's list

Nabooru- she steals stuff, being a bad influence on link- 800 rupees

Impa- who encourages a child to go into a volcano? He could have been killed! 400 rupees

Twinrova- she goes needs to die or go somewhere far, far away. 800 rupees

Darunia- anyone who can give him dance lessons – 600 rupees

That owl- I'm the only one who can be annoying, and he talks way too long- 900 rupees

Epona- useless animal I can fly faster! 100 rupees

Zelda- not giving us the light arrows sooner and for letting her kingdom gets captured without a struggle. Who sends a kid out to kill things any way? 900 rupees

Sheik- not giving clear instructions and for not doing it himself- 800 rupees

Ruto- making up go thought that water logged temple of hers. Hero endangerment- 500 rupees

Any cooco- 100 rupees each- they are cannibals they try to eat me!

Great fairies- 200 rupees- they are an insult. No fairy should wear their hair like that!

Link- for constantly trying to get away- 10,000

(in tiny print) Gannon- he started this whole mess, but I suppose I do owe him a favor, 10,000,000 I do not want him alive or Link finding out he's my boss

**How Navi can carry that much money I don't know. She would likely drive the person crazy, before paying. Either that or che has really hight prices for not irratating people for a few days.**


	3. Chapter 1

Link's most wanted list

Redead's- for existing- 50 rupees each

Gorons- for just sitting around and waiting to be fed to a dragon. Trying to kill hero. Dragons need to eat too! Join today 20-rupee discount! 25 rupees

Fire keese- 70 rupees- continues menace to the duku shield.

- Any other keese is 50

Great fairies- fashion hieatious, and horrible hair-travel endangerment 100 rupees

Duku shrubs- for being a nuances- and not playing fair- 180 rupees

King Zora- for not being able to run away from being incased in ice that was his own fault for staying in place for so long. Endangerment of assistance. 500 rupees

Sheik- for using duku nuts in escape attempts- 800 rupees alive

Ruto- harassment- 250 rupees- dead

Navi- aka captain obvious- bringer of insanity- 500 rupees

Juba-juba- disturbing my stomach-

(Already taken, don't both he isn't their anymore)

Skullawa- intension of bodily harm- 80 rupees

Duku tree/sprout- needed for fire wood- intent on bodily harm- reckless endangerment of minors- 200 rupees

That owl- 10,000 rupees dead or alive.

- Note to all living in Hyrule

To any persons wishing to take over, please check with princess Zelda. Also there is a new charge for any damsels in distress (Zelda) if you wish to be save please consult with your captor.

To all captors of d.i.d.'s (damsels) I don't care for flowers and bribery may or may not allow further hostages.

If you do not wish for the ransom to be paid, for example if you and the lady want to marry PLEASE do _not _leave instructions as to where you are heading.

There is a new 100 rupees change for travel expenses.


	4. Chapter 4 Zelda's royal decree

**Sorry it took so long I have a summer class that I needed to finish, hope you like it.**

Most wanted in hyrule chapter 4

Zelda's list

Happy mask salesman- not having enough stock and selling a hisotirc relic for a paltry sum of money

All castle gaurds- for not guarding and switching alligences- 50 ruppies each

Nabooru- theft, endangerment of minors, reckless endangermentand consorting with the enemies. 1,050 ruppies

Malon- stealing my boyfriend, also not giving Epona's colt to the royal family, she only has the ranch by royal decree if the royal family takes back all the horses she would be befreft of money. 1,000 ruppies

Gannon- for kiddnaping, arson, disturbing the peace, recless endangerment of minors, and plotting to take contraol of hyrule, muder. That crystal was not fun and what was with the pink anyway? I mean triforce of wisdom here, blue hello? He also gave me a huge headache with all that playing. 10,000 dead, or alive preferably dead.

The great fairy- indecent exposer, also limited availablty. 100 ruppies

Sheik- he is imperanating me! Thoses duku nuts should be outlawed. He broke into my room and stole my diary that had all the temples and sages in it. He also tried to drive Link crazy. 1,000 rupies

Princess Ruto- he is _my_ man, she keeps trying to steal him from me, and they aren't engaged! It's a conspiracy by her mother to get that zora to marry her, and it was a bed time story! She tried to drown him too! 1,100 ruppies

Dark Link- he tried to kidnap me, and he almost kissed me. If Link doesn't marry me…

1,000,000 rupies

Link, hero of time- marrage, 10,000,000 rupies

**Thank you all who have reviewed. Please tell me what you think. Or if you have any sugestions.**


	5. Chapter 5, Vaati

**Hi sorry havn't updated in a long while but I now am.**

**sugar high you must thank for that, and pink star bursts- blame Zeta, or thank her witchever one works for you. (you know you love me...)**

**Not that way get your mind out of the gutter!!!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!!! (you said it, not me... :p) I didn't say anything, humph, I implied. (you did say something, you said: sorry when you kicked me) **

**sigh, Only as a friend now before she takes the keyboard, on with the bounty!**

Vaati

The four links,

green he keep hiding and blending into the surrounding area, do you have any idea how hard it is to target him when he is hiding? He stole my sword, it was a new toy too, 500,000 rupees

red- he is plagiarizing from the original, he is so irritating when he plays follow the leader with the green one. He can't even handle a little fire, the tunic powers aren't supposed to be transferable to the other three. 1000 rupees

blue was it really my fault that I was fishing and he came up? I mean it wasn't my fault that he was supposed to be wearing the zora tunic. 1000 rupees

Purple a new tunic with both zora and fire combined, not a bad idea but even if yellow is a complementary color to purple, purple and pink are Zelda colors. Hey don't look at me like that, just because I wear purple doesn't mean that I'm girly it's the only thing that will match with my hair. And have you even tried having a different color for your monster form? No? Didn't think so. 15000000000000… lotsa ruppies

Zelda- is it wrong to kidnap the first person you see for a map of the area? She was such a fan girl that I had to turn her into stone for my own, uh, her own safety so that I wouldn't blow her up, actually dark link…

700000 (date for link? One won't come out alive…)

The maidens(6) just because I blew away their boyfriends is no reason to seal me. 200 each, alive, have to torment them a little longer, back in the crystals for a captive audience for Gannon. I can't wait to hear the screams. 6000 each

Owl- talks too much, and he is a horrible babysitter. 9000000000 ruppies

Dark link- he loses on purpose 50000, need to torment him too, also he needs more fencing lessons perhaps with four links…

Great fairy of forest, ice, flame- stole my keys 900 each, I split them in half for a reason, and they ran up my electric bill, I was just using their power for all hurlyes lights and stuff.

Old master- he looked better as a hat, next time I should just turn him into a lamp or something…

He was such a bad teacher too.

He also bites.

3000000.1005

**What did you think? (I liked it) Why do I agree with myself? So who wantss to be up next? Please leave a review! (yes, then check out Zeta's story...)**

**the Sheik in there is positively hysterical!!! (indeed. NOW, BY ORDER OF THE GREAT ZETA, your future overlord and supreme ruler of the universe, REVIEW MY BEST FRIENDS CHAPTER, NOW!!!!!)**

**If only for the commentary for the next chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6 Dark Link

**Sorry it took so long. I made this chapter extra long to make up for it. Request anyone? I hope you like it. Even if you don't please drop a review and tell me what can be immproved.**

Dark Link's list

Light arrows- they hurt. I mean come on is that any way to treat an elder? 50 rupees each, steal the magic or quiver and I'll give you all of Link's rupees and half of Zelda's.

Megaton hammer-darumina- would it have killed him to get the hammer before he went into the boss lair? I know it was my pet but still what did he ever do to him? Link didn't even have to have saved him and those fire dancers ick, irritating temple. 5000 rupees

Sage of fire- he is an idiot; he is more dangerous than Gannon with those hugs. And don't even get me started on his daughters- even I'm scared of them and I can run. Link can't. 6000 rupees

Deku nuts- Sorry but I did this one myself, not Gannon. Eventually the duku tree/sprout will die as well so the vexing duku seeds will go away as well. Those Sheikah have no sense of manners; at least tell some one when you leave. In battle it is different but out in the field? With no enemies? Why vanish? 7000- not responsible for injures inflicted!

also the maku tree, I will pay quite a lot for this one

And Sheik since he keeps breaking this.

Bigghoron sword or the big goron- both are a nusicence. There is no fineness with that sword, you just jab with it. If that goron rolls over when he is asleep by village and the mountain and the great fairies. 5000, you can't miss him.

Din's fire – nothing against Din by the way, just that is a fire hazard. Safety first! Link has already done more damage with that spell than Gannon and that is saying something. I also believe it has awakened his pyromaniac abilities. 10,000

Veran- old lady- spilt me up; I am not the cause of the four links. But my self is already dealing with light vs. dark issues. It was not necessary to split me up just because she needed a minion. 11,000

Vaati- mirror man, I wanted a friend. We go way back, he is just stuck for a little bit and he paid well too. I know my battles weren't the best but you try dealing with multiple personalities. Real ones not the follow the leader ones that Link has. 20,000

Dark mirror- way to secret hide out. 20,100

Bugs- I do not squish them everyone else does. Agitha and I had a very good chat about bugs she even got quite a few for my collection on my tree after the ball. I pay on deliver on the bug. 100 each 300 for pairs- and not the ones that you buy from the store!

Citizens of hyrule- they took my stuff. I was just getting it back, I leave for a few minutes and they try to take everything! I just wanted to read and they take everything the thieves! 100 each

Midna- copyright infringement she stole my warping power. Also would like to date. But then she might try to make me a pet. 5000

Great fairies- they keep stalking me. I suppose they can never have Link and I'm the 'bad boy' with magic. Kill, 25000

Zelda - hid the door and then barrowed the mirror. I knew I shouldn't have left it lying around. Also since Link is occupied with his girl, or several for all I know, in every time when Link and she cannot be together she finds me and then as with the great fairs- who aren't so great by the way- stalks me and wants to be my girl friend, wife, king.

I heartily reject these offers; one Zelda is quite enough for me. You've dated one you have dated then all. And all that pink beech! If you can survive a date or fulfill any of the above 100,000

Link- just an invitation since I refuse to go any where near that water temple, (Ruto has once again kidnapped him.) I just want him to understand that I'm not evil he just wanted to be recognized by the other links. 100 service charge for postman. (If you can get him to put on pants I'll pay 50000)

Naryu- keeps using me as an experiment. 300000

Forore- keeps sending me salads and tries to 'fix' my color. Such a fan girl if she can't have Link- who likes Zelda, she have the next best unfortunate thing, me. 4000

Poe saver- to protect Poes from the bow apply now!

IIia so much fun to tease- now accepting applications

- For any other girl as well including Malon

And I mean any

Gannon- not only did he take over hyrule, but copyright infringement, I mean come on I had wolf form first! 6000- Link this is a great way to earn money for that new bow!

Owl- taken. I finally caught up with him and pulled out all his feathers. That and I sealed his mouth shut. He was very tasty. 7,000,000

Impaz- books missing, also accepting application for adoption for the cats.

Madame Fanadi- someone needs to get her out side. Fun to talk to and she can always tell witch fan girls are coming after me. 700

Three girls out side the tent- they must die, the squeals of infatuation are too much, applications for dark apprentice are also being accepted. 8000

Queen Rutela- kill her assailants and I will pay quite nicely. It's so nice to have more spirit people to communicate with, and the stories of how much trouble her son get into.

Happy mask salesman- I get him masks and then we both get paid- talk to him if you wish to collect any other the rewards, he knows how to find me.

Sheikah/geroudo females – while I hold nothing against them personally, having an entire harem/race of women on your every beck and call refusing to leave you alone while very strong and unsusceptible to kidnapping with the on the occasion exception- ganon, the witches other sheikah males and myself-no one can escape me- can get grating on the nerves.

I already got this one but any stragglers you can take care off…

80,000

Ruto – Goddess where do I start. I trapped myself in that room to hide from her. I had hoped that all those water levels and the confusing layout might have deterred her and it did for seven years but then Link comes in – "Right this way ladies another epiphany of evil! Take your pick!" Let's just say the reason why their aren't any other female zora is quite simply because I trapped them. And. They. Will. Stay. Trapped.

Got this one to do, check Link's list for another reward.

Nabooru- while I respect her profession, attempting to kidnap me is somewhat less than amusing. There is a very good reason why they are far far far away from Gannon's castle.

Got this too.

Anju was nice but those coccos really need to die, they keep attacking me and I haven't done anything…

Wait.

LINK I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

No wait I'll just leave you to Ruto,

And a few others…

**I feel bad for Link. Anyone else? Please leave a review!**


	7. Chapter 7 Tingle

**I am so sorry for not updating time got away from me but I have posted two chapters today and will try to gt more done.**

**If you leave reviews I'll update faster!**

**Hope you enjoy this next one, any other requests?**

**Oh and I do not own tingle or Zelda, if I did Tingle would die rather, violently.**

Tingles List

Map maker

Anyone who steals Tingle's magic words! kooloo-limpah

A map

Fairy- tingle will give three maps, and will also be very nice and give directions, also will give tingle turner!

Ankle and knuckle- brothers- Tingle will give a map!

Uncle Rupee

Barbarous outfit that constantly give Tingle wedge, Tingle will give anyone who can defeat or kill lots of maps and gulp all the rupees Tingle has collected.

Pinkle- wants to marry, and or date. Housekeeper wanted if you bring Pinkle to Tingle, Tingle will give you almost what ever you want!

Link she is a damsel in distress!

(written underneath in Link's handwriting)

Yea in distress from you!

Rupees- any amount gives you maps

Just have the right about or Tingle will give you half maps!

Tingle also needs Lessons on being nice, now accepting applications for teachers. Also tingle wishes to win the heart of a fairy, any advice is appreciated!

Link - for popping his balloon,

Or any of link's doubles/children for stealing force gems

Also want for lessons!

Keaton-fox wants them keep stealing Tingle's things, and stealing rupees

Also will translate charts or other languages

Tries to steal force gems

Hinox

Wizzrobes

Force gem likes

Wants to get gems from link

Tingle will give maps! Must be contained however Tingle does not like

when they turn on Tingle!

Arsonist who burned all of Tingle Times! Tingle will give discount on maps!

Kin stones- Tingle will only pay on delivery, in accordance with value

Deku child who pops my balloon

Zora knifes balloons

Child link who deliberately misses and shoots me with arrows not pleasant when on fire or ice. Showing off to children is not nice!

Fierce Deity- Put me out of business, adult Link bought all the maps he wanted and now he doesn't want to buy anymore also gives out my maps.

Purlo- a child that Tingle wishes to find, his son, Also purloined his clock.

**I hope you like it! Please leave a review! Any requests would be appreactated!**


	8. Chapter 8 Elzo

**Long time I know, but I found it so to posting**

Elzo's list

Hero of men – owes me money

Crappie/crazy witches

Snakes

Cats

Trap doors

The cold

Ghost

Guards

No humans/hylands in vortexes

Clean out swamp

All evil mine carts-roller coasters

Princess Zelda training sneaking away

Master smith- jewelry

Baby sitter for Zelda and link

Monsters-attack me for no reason

Link-needs to break curse again

Any hero who needs advice

Keys for getting around

Hero's adventure-fun for all ages

Retraining hero's – to not get every chest

Avoiding and attacking monsters

Not liable for injuries inflicted bring your own fairy!


End file.
